Interlude with the Honest Doctor

Through Alchemical Metamorphosis we define, visualize, and hone in on what we would like to manifest through the process - we are all manifesters.  I use the following example from my alchemy experiments in relationship to exemplify the need for a wholistic vision, with the fine, or not-so-fine line of too much detail.

(from 2006) 

An Interlude with the Honest Doctor 

After a connection I had perceived to be amazing fell to pieces due to deception and his misrepresentation, all I put out to the Universe was that I wanted to be with someone honest. Honest, honest, honest, how could the Universe not know that I needed to be with someone honest??

A  couple months later my next date was with a doctor friend of my son’s girlfriend. He actually used to date her mother years ago. We set ourselves up. He came by the school where I’d just begun the dean job, took a tour, then we each drove our respective cars to Cherry Creek, ate at a month-old restaurant, Tula, and enjoyed lovely multi-course meal.  We talked easily.

He was fascinated with the medicine I was describing, seeing as he was an adolescent psychologist. Our talk was mostly “shop” and I felt I challenged many levels of his open-mindedness, which he was aware of, and open to. As we left the restaurant and walked the block to our cars, it was cold and began to snow. We reached the cars, and he turned to me, as I was wondering if we were going to talk about seeing each other again. He said to me, “I have to be honest, I have a dating dilemma.”

Well, how refreshing and HONEST! However, the word “dilemma” was added to the sentence, so I told him, “Tell me your dating dilemma.” He proceeded to tell me that he, at his age (52) and having never been married and childless, is now looking for someone with whom to start a family, and he was making the assumption, even though we hadn’t discussed anything of a personal nature at dinner, considering my family is almost grown and my two careers are underway, that I am probably not interested in starting family number two. He added that he enjoyed our meeting and I gave him lots to think about from our discussion and that he might be interested in having further conversations on a professional note.

The irony did not escape me. I had just exited the “relationship” where my children were “too many” and “too much”, that was the excuse anyway, and given that that particular fella was twenty years older than I (and professed to be a mere ten years older, amongst other lies), I was already wondering if this man, the doctor, was possibly too old for me as well. 

In that brief conversation, it became quite clear that I was too old for him (at fourteen years his junior) and that I wasn’t willing to have enough kids, at least in his assessment, without inquiring into my thoughts on the matter. Thus, without going into my reproductive capabilities and desires, I told him that it was good to know  what he wanted and was so honest about it. I thanked him for the evening, gave him a polite hug and got in my car and cried all the way home. And through the tears, I laughed; the irony was painful but beautiful, and again I learned more clearly, on a small scale, the adage, “be careful what you ask for, you just might get it”.