Interlude with the Honest Doctor

Through Alchemical Metamorphosis we define, visualize, and hone in on what we would like to manifest through the process - we are all manifesters.  I use the following example from my alchemy experiments in relationship to exemplify the need for a wholistic vision, with the fine, or not-so-fine line of too much detail.

(from 2006) 

An Interlude with the Honest Doctor 

After a connection I had perceived to be amazing fell to pieces due to deception and his misrepresentation, all I put out to the Universe was that I wanted to be with someone honest. Honest, honest, honest, how could the Universe not know that I needed to be with someone honest??

A  couple months later my next date was with a doctor friend of my son’s girlfriend. He actually used to date her mother years ago. We set ourselves up. He came by the school where I’d just begun the dean job, took a tour, then we each drove our respective cars to Cherry Creek, ate at a month-old restaurant, Tula, and enjoyed lovely multi-course meal.  We talked easily.

He was fascinated with the medicine I was describing, seeing as he was an adolescent psychologist. Our talk was mostly “shop” and I felt I challenged many levels of his open-mindedness, which he was aware of, and open to. As we left the restaurant and walked the block to our cars, it was cold and began to snow. We reached the cars, and he turned to me, as I was wondering if we were going to talk about seeing each other again. He said to me, “I have to be honest, I have a dating dilemma.”

Well, how refreshing and HONEST! However, the word “dilemma” was added to the sentence, so I told him, “Tell me your dating dilemma.” He proceeded to tell me that he, at his age (52) and having never been married and childless, is now looking for someone with whom to start a family, and he was making the assumption, even though we hadn’t discussed anything of a personal nature at dinner, considering my family is almost grown and my two careers are underway, that I am probably not interested in starting family number two. He added that he enjoyed our meeting and I gave him lots to think about from our discussion and that he might be interested in having further conversations on a professional note.

The irony did not escape me. I had just exited the “relationship” where my children were “too many” and “too much”, that was the excuse anyway, and given that that particular fella was twenty years older than I (and professed to be a mere ten years older, amongst other lies), I was already wondering if this man, the doctor, was possibly too old for me as well. 

In that brief conversation, it became quite clear that I was too old for him (at fourteen years his junior) and that I wasn’t willing to have enough kids, at least in his assessment, without inquiring into my thoughts on the matter. Thus, without going into my reproductive capabilities and desires, I told him that it was good to know  what he wanted and was so honest about it. I thanked him for the evening, gave him a polite hug and got in my car and cried all the way home. And through the tears, I laughed; the irony was painful but beautiful, and again I learned more clearly, on a small scale, the adage, “be careful what you ask for, you just might get it”.

Masculine and Feminine in Balance

"My internal masculine and feminine selves show respect and appreciation for each other."

Daily Thought for Tuesday, March 10, 2009
by Master Djwhal Khul

The yin and the yang in balance and harmony with each other, is the key to great health. The yin, the feminine, being the stillness, the resting, the quiet, is utterly important for our physical, mental and emotional rejuvenation. It's about being present with ourselves, and going within to hear that "still, small voice", which sometimes isn't so small, especially the longer we ignore it. The feminine is our intuitive aspect, the receptivity of the Divine. Often in our society, and maybe many others, people do not go to this place of stillness, of receptivity, of rejuvenation so that they can have the energy they need for the yang, or masculine aspects of their lives: the activity, the expression, the action, the sharing with others, the creativity. If there is too much doing, and not enough being, then there is imbalance. I find this often in my practice, and it can be felt in a person's pulses. This can result in taking action where the action may not be so Divinely inspired and not coming from the most heart-centered place possible, thus causing more problems than creative solutions.

The opposite is also seen in practice and in life. Where there's plenty of stillness and intuition coming through, but no action being taken upon it.  This can lead to stagnation and illness, both physical and emotional.  I often feel in the pulses of my patients an oppressive energy that weighs down the vibrancy of the true pulse.  I translate this into the energy of not taking action on something that needs taking action. The patient often knows what it is because they are so intuitive, and that's not where the energy is stuck.  Sometimes they do not know because the energy is so stuck, and once it gets flowing again through their taking action in some part of their lives, then life overall begins to flow and they can make good, heart-centered decisions.

The perfect balance and flow is when the Divinely guided intuitive "hit" comes through, and we can express it and take action on it immediately. No questioning "what if, yeah but, if only..." just take action. Then we are in the flow of Life and this is the masculine taking taking action respecting the feminine intuition and stillness. It is also the feminine appreciating the ability of the masculine to take action.

There is much to be appreciated about the masculine and feminine being in good communication and mutually respecting each others importance. This can require a fair amount of Trust.  Trust that our intuitive hits are truly coming from a higher place, and trusting that our taking action is for our greatest good.  I think it's also about life being a place where we can try these things, lean into them, and see where they take us.  This may seem risky, especially at first, but the more the inner masculine and feminine cooperate the more easily life flows.

This is often, or maybe even always, demonstrated through our relationships. We attract those who provide balance for us. For example, when I was young and newly married, I was the ultimate yin, or feminine and nurturing , aspect with very little of the masculine; whereas my husband at the time was the epitomy of the masculine, the breadwinner, the decision-maker, As I grew older, and more into myself, and embraced more of my masculine, which for me meant expressing my unique self, and trying to take action on those things that were important to me, this gave him an opportunity to look at and embrace the qualities of his feminine and receptive, nurturing side so that we could once again balance each other at this new level. Unfortunately, my masculine appeared to be too challenging for his hidden feminine, and at the time he wasn't willing to go there, so instead of growing together, we grew apart. I took my new level of feminine/masculine balance, or relative imbalance, out into the world of relationship, with interesting results.

There have been many shifts and changes over the years with my goal of being more balanced in my feminine and masculine aspects, and honoring both.  I feel I've gotten myself to a good place.  I am able to live an intuitive life, and can take action or express myself accordingly.  I don't know what this means relationship-wise, since I am not currently in one that will mirror my level of balance of my inner feminine and masculine, but I look forward to finding out and seeing where my inner feminine and masculine might need more attention in mutual respect and appreciation.

Many Blessings to All of You, You Wonderful Beings of the Inner Feminine and Masculine!

S.A. Lyonheart :-)

Balance and Spiritual Liberation

9/17/14 - The world is our mirror of our conscious awareness.  The following blog from Spring of 2009 is all about observing what is in my world, understanding it, and creating an intention for manifestation, as well as an example of a manifestation of intentions set forth with my prevailing conscious awareness that got me there.  

It is a bit humorous to note, I now just realized, that within two weeks of writing this in 2009, I met my current husband, Richard, who is so very balanced, AND a Libra.  :)  One of the more gargantuan metamorphoses I've experienced.  Successful Alchemy in the area of relationship!

Daily Thought for Sunday, May 3, 2009 by Master Djwhal Khul
My increasing balance fuels my capacity for spiritual liberation.
Daily Thought for Monday, May 4, 2009 by Master Djwhal Khul
Perfect balance is the open door to spiritual liberation.

Balance has definitely been a key word for me lately. I have been drawing into my awareness those who are extremists in various aspects of life, from the fella who weighed 300 pounds and clung with all his might to the canned foods and 6 boxes of expired oatmeal, and refused to listen to any music that had an inkling of flute. He was very slow and damp in all decisions and movement... to the vegan continual meditator, attached to the spirit world, and anti-the manifestations of this planet, and a few other unique extremists in between.  The pendulum keeps swinging. Perhaps I am here to show balance to others, I dunno. I asked my mother yesterday if there's anything extreme about me that I am missing. At first she thought not, and then she said that perhaps the only thing I may be extreme in is enthusiasm.

en·thu·si·asm (n-thz-zm)
n.
1. Great excitement for or interest in a subject or cause.
2. A source or cause of great excitement or interest.
3. Archaic
a. Ecstasy arising from supposed possession by a god.
b. Religious fanaticism.

[Late Latin enthsiasmus, from Greek enthousiasmos, from enthousiazein, to be inspired by a god, from entheos, possessed : en-, in; see en-2 + theos, god; see dhs- in Indo-European roots.]
Word History: "Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm," said the very quotable Ralph Waldo Emerson, who also said, "Everywhere the history of religion betrays a tendency to enthusiasm." These two uses of the word enthusiasmone positive and one negative both derive from its source in Greek. Enthusiasm first appeared in English in 1603 with the meaning "possession by a god." The source of the word is the Greek enthousiasmos, which ultimately comes from the adjective entheos, "having the god within," formed from en, "in, within," and theos, "god." Over time the meaning of enthusiasm became extended to "rapturous inspiration like that caused by a god" to "an overly confident or delusory belief that one is inspired by God," to "ill-regulated religious fervor, religious extremism," and eventually to the familiar sense "craze, excitement, strong liking for something." Now one can have an enthusiasm for almost anything, from water skiing to fast food, without religion entering into it at all.

I like to see enthusiasm as God, or the Universal Life Force expressing through me.  I have the intention of making my life one big meditation, which actually simply means that I am present in whatever it is that I am doing, wherever I am being, whomever I am engaging with.  Intentional meditation definitely makes this goal more attainable.  I definitely do not have time nor interest in going into deep meditation for hours per day, for there is living to be done, and love to share and beings to encounter with heart.  So, yes, I am enthusiastic about everything in my life I have set forth and created for myself.  Everything from being a present mother, to pursuing my career goals, to communing with my friends and family.  I am enthusiastic about continually learning and growing, and experiencing what I can through this short period of time on this planet in this reality.

Back to balance and the door to and capacity for spiritual liberation.  As I wrote this last line I received a phone call from Creighton University offering me a seat in their upcoming starting PharmD. program.  This is, by far, the most balanced option I had interviewed for this past winter.  I had let go of it being an option because I had been placed on their wait list for an indeterminate amount of time, thus I moved ahead enthusiastically with my next best option which provided a far less balanced proposition than the distance learning program, but a slightly more balanced option than packing everything and leaving Peter behind to start school in Oregon.  So, interesting timing, I say.  Definitely taking the most balanced route allows more flexibility and time and energy in my school schedule to continue to pursue 1) my acupuncture practice and new clinic, 2) my meditative practices, 3) a routine of health and self-care, 4) hopefully nurturing and nourishing family and friend contact.  These things are very important to me, and allow me to be a spiritual being manifesting my dreams in a balanced way.

Now as I sit and ponder my initial question to my mother yesterday morning about what these perceived extreme people making themselves known and might be mirroring to me, perhaps it was the choice I had made to go to UC-Denver's pharmacy school and the extreme attention that would take in my life because I would be enthusiastic about the program, wherever school ends up being.

Indeed, I am liberated from extremes, and find balance in my activities and my inactivities, in my knowledge and in my meditation, in my heart when I give and receive love, and share with others and share with myself. This is a very good place to be, a place of manifesting my dreams.

S.A. Lyonheart :-)